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In three-part summary: Dog. Hell. Fail.

What will today's blog entry be like? A mix of ranting, warning, recommendation, and self-deprecation. Interested? Yes? Then you must be stuck at work ;-)

So, over the weekend my husband decided to make oatmeal raisin cookies. They were the ones from Nestle, where you just break apart the dough squares and bake them. I was upstairs, trying to ignore the wafting scent of oatmeal-raisin goodness, because I am on a diet (we'll get to how that's going later). Anyway, the first batch of cookies came out of the oven, and I noticed my little dog sitting in the kitchen, eying them and licking her chops (much like I was doing, I'll admit). Then, with a flash of Doggie Mom inspiration, I asked my husband - you didn't give her a cookie, did you?

Him: Half of one, why?
Me: Because raisins are VERY BAD for dogs.
Him: No they're not.
Me: Yes they are, and I TOLD you that when you bought the cookies days ago.
Him: I don't remember you saying that.
Me: That's because you don't listen!
Him: Well, it was just half a cookie. Can't hurt her.
Me: I'm calling animal poison control. We'll see what they say.

Called poison control, who verified that yes, raisins are VERY BAD for dogs. Lethal, in some cases. I am instructed to induce vomiting with my dog. How? By giving her hydrogen peroxide. The first dose, my dog takes with cream and laps it up willingly (poor sweet trusting girl). We wait ten minutes. No puke. Call poison control back, they say to give her another dose. My dog no longer wants the cream-and-peroxide mixture. I try mixing it with ice cream. No dice. Then it's manhandling time, my husband holding her as she kicks and struggles while I try to get a tablespoon of peroxide down her throat. After that, we wait ten more minutes. Still no puke. I called poison control back. They said to give her another dose and run her around, so as to increase her stomach upset. More manhandling, struggling, and spitting ensues as I force another tablespoon down my dog's throat (no, I didn't have one of those handy ear syringes - - but I do now!). Then, I took her outside for a walk. In the rain. Neither one of us wanted to do it, trust me.

Where was my husband? He went to the store to get an ear syringe and a new bottle of peroxide (we weren't sure if the one we were using had enough "fizzle", which apparently, is what induces vomiting in dogs).

After ten sopping minutes of no vomiting, I brought my dog back inside. Here she had her revenge for the force-feeding of peroxide and the rain-romp, because she went over to our area rug and hurled all over it, managing to hit both the rug and a large swath on the carpet as well. I, per instructions by poison control, couldn't immediately begin to clean it, either, but instead had to pick through the vomit to count how many raisins were in it.

Can you imagine how much I was loving my husband at that moment????

I called poison control back to report that it looked like there were two and a half raisins in the puke. They didn't feel this would be enough of an amount to result in kidney failure, which is the concern with dogs who ingest raisins, so gave me instructions to keep my dog well hydrated and to follow up with the vet if she acts at all sick in the next day or so. Finally, I can begin to clean the carpet (no, hubby wasn't back from the store yet. Did this trip seem to take extremely long? I thought so, too!).

Only after I was done cleaning the puke did he walk back in the door (the man has radar, I swear). I relayed that our dog puked, then repeated the information from poison control - to which he replied, "Oh, well, then. No real harm done."

Yes, for those wondering, he IS still alive. Nobody can say I don't love that man, and I'm sure the dreams I had later that night about hiding a body in a suitcase had NOTHING to do with what I was feeling toward hubby over the dog ;-).

So, that was my rocking Saturday night. Sunday, we went to see Hell Boy 2, The Golden Army. Now, I loved the first Hell Boy. LOVED it (secret government unit made of up humans and supernatural freaks fighting evil supernatural freaks? Duh, of course I loved that!! :). Hell Boy 2 was not, in my opinion, quite as excellent as the first, but what it lacked in plotting, it made up for in dazzling visual effects. My review? Hell YEAH, if you liked the first one - even though I warn you, I've had Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You" on repeat in my head ever since seeing the movie. Am I joking? No, I'm not. You've been warned.

And onto to the diet portion of today's blog. About two weeks ago, as per my usual routine on the same month of a convention, I began dieting. When I want to crash diet, I turn to Atkins. This time, since my willpower was weaker, I thought I'd modify Atkins a little to make it less difficult. So, while I did cut out all my sugar, I included more carbs than the late Dr. Atkins recommended for his induction period of the diet.

The results? Epic. Fail. Not only have I failed to lose weight, I've gained two pounds. Fuck!!! I gave up Coldstone to gain weight?? *insert more profanity here*. Fine. Fine, Atkins. You win. I'll drop the carbs, too. Happy? I'm not. I'll be crying for the next two weeks while I slog through the all-protein induction phase of the diet, and even then, I'll still be heavier than I was at RT in April. I suspect I'll even have to *shudders* exercise. Why, why, why won't the Rubenesque look come back into style??

So. What did all of you do this weekend?

Comments

( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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watchmebe
Jul. 15th, 2008 02:37 pm (UTC)
Dear god...the dog story...you are a far better woman than I to have not stabbed your husband in a puddle of dog vomit.
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 11:51 am (UTC)
While picking through vomit, that thought did occur to me...;-)
(Deleted comment)
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 11:53 am (UTC)
I'm paranoid, frankly. Before my dog, I had six ferrets, and they caught every disease under the sun (kidney failure, adrenal cancer, liver cancer, lung cancer, etc). Now, I go for the ultra-conservative method when there's ANY chance of something that's bad, health-wise.

So doggie got the peroxide! :)
(Deleted comment)
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 11:54 am (UTC)
Coldstone? Date!!!
robinellen
Jul. 15th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
You are one patient woman!!! I would have saved the mess for my husband to clean himself...regardless of how stuck to the rug it was by then. :)

I haven't lost weight in four years. Not. An. Ounce.

Sigh. But at least I'm gaining muscle (or so everyone says), right?
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 11:57 am (UTC)
Hubby puts up with so much crap from me, I figure the rug-vomit was probably my karma, lol.

That's how I'll look at it! I gained MUSCLE!! *grins*
david_bridger
Jul. 15th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
*scratches head in that cute puzzled blokish way you women all love*

Okay, so, what did you say is the problem...?

----------------------------------------------

See, I drew a line under that. :)

Hey, I saw your HTTG thread in the Vampires, Witches & Weres group on Shelfari. You're good! Would you like to guest blog on How To Get Your Novel Published, maybe when At Grave's End is ready to release?
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 11:59 am (UTC)
"Okay, so, what did you say is the problem...?"

Men!!!

"Would you like to guest blog on How To Get Your Novel Published, maybe when At Grave's End is ready to release?"

Sounds good! Maybe either November or early December? (book comes out end of Dec, but with that and the holidays, I'll be brain dead by then).

Email me and remind me, please. I am notoriously forgetful.
(no subject) - david_bridger - Jul. 16th, 2008 02:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
meredith_wood
Jul. 15th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
Your husband sounds eerily familiar. Could my own be his twin? I don't remember my weekend. I know it involved too much heat, scattered thunderstorms that only made the heat worse, and a lot of driving. I'm glad it's over now. *G*
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
Driving, thunderstorms...sounds like what I've got to look forward to next week when I drive to Tulsa!

(Deleted comment)
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:04 pm (UTC)
"It's a pity putting up with husbands doesn't factor into weight loss, huh?"

OMG, yes!! That's how things SHOULD be!!

(of course, if my husband lost a pound for every time I did something annoying, he'd be, um, nothing but a skeleton by now ;).
sanguinepen
Jul. 15th, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
Would it make you feel better to know that my first Pom mutant, Kirby, who was about as big as a Shiba, ate a box of Belgian Chocolates? We didn't even get to call the vet before he puked up puddles of chocolate all over the kitchen and laundry room.

I must really be a choco-holic, because normally I'd be off the stuff for life after that.
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:06 pm (UTC)
Ha, yes, I totally lost my appetite the rest of that night.

Raisins are apparently weird, because not only does the size of the dog matter, but different breeds - and even different dogs within the breeds! - react differently. Some dogs are fine eating raisins. Others have dropped dead. Vets can't explain why one dog does A while another does B with raisins. Very odd.
(Deleted comment)
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:07 pm (UTC)
Oooh, what's in Founders Favorite? I'm partial to the Banana Crunch Surprise (or something like that, with the word "banana" in it).
nicolecabrera
Jul. 15th, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)
Seriously-husbands!-do they even have ears? Ok enough said on that topic I don't want to rant out a whole page in the comment area!

Diets-I know all to well this sore subject, all I want to lose is five pounds. Not 100 or enough 50 just five, you would think this is possible-but hell no it's not! I just turned 36 and I don't know what happened to my body but someone replaced it during the night. So kind of body snatcher-no diet work kind of body replacement! Not happy one bit about this whole new anti-diet responding body. I liked my drink a diet coke and an apple for breakfast and drop two pounds body!

Long story short (too late) one pound still aludes me after a week of special K and no sugar at all-I'm a day away of giving up-I miss my gummy bears too much to keep going!

frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:08 pm (UTC)
I feel your pain. Dieting sucks all the way around.
i_amsherlocked
Jul. 15th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
Why, why, why won't the Rubenesque look come back into style??
Can I just second that?
Yeah, having a fourth baby in my thirties doesn't help the figure any....except that now my boobs are so huge you don't notice the lack of waist as much
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:09 pm (UTC)
*snort* That's what I'll do - get a boob job. Make 'em so big, they'll totally overpower the size of my ass!!!

u r genuuusss! ;-)
(no subject) - i_amsherlocked - Jul. 17th, 2008 12:45 am (UTC) - Expand
sycofreek7
Jul. 15th, 2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
I lost 10 lbs in a week or two by following the Special K plan... I also gave up drinking soda all together. Good luck on dieting.
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:10 pm (UTC)
Give up soda? *shudders* I drink Diet soda. No, it's not good for me. Yes, I need it like crack cocaine.

Yay for your ten pounds, though!
sakibebe
Jul. 15th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
I never knew that raisins were bad for pups... learn something every day don't ya. You have an inner strength that cannot be defined... I would have lost it. Maybe left the puke for him to clean up and then when the rugs were stained made him buy new ones, but I'm vendictive that way apparently. :)
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:11 pm (UTC)
Hubby is the only person in the world who loves our dog as much as I do, and he felt really awful about what happened (this is why he still lives ;).

Plus, usually, he's the one cleaning after me. I am a slob. He is a neat person. I don't know HOW we've lasted this long, lol.
katiebabs
Jul. 15th, 2008 07:14 pm (UTC)
I hope your doggie is okay!!
You on a diet? Oh please. You will waste away.
*Kate looks down at her gut and sighs*
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:12 pm (UTC)
Katie, darling, I've seen your pictures. My gut would smack your gut around and make it call me Mama! ;-)
(no subject) - katiebabs - Jul. 16th, 2008 12:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
lab_mistress
Jul. 15th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
When I was in middle school, my chow decided to eat an emory board I had sitting on the living room table... and half of the newly opened PACK of emory boards. My mom was still at work at the time and, even if she left that minute, it would have taken her over an hour to make it home. I called the emergency vet in town, crying and hysterical because I was certain I'd just killed my dog. They told me to give her peroxide, like poison control told you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to wrangle a 50 lb. chow single-handedly and force peroxide down her throat? NOT. EASY.

And then I got to clean up all the vomit, since I'd taken her in my bathroom when I gave her peroxide and she'd managed to throw up ALL OVER the bath mat, shower curtain, etc. It was a special, special sort of afternoon. *lol*

I'm glad your dog didn't have any lasting damage from the ordeal, and you've got my complete sympathy!
frost_light
Jul. 16th, 2008 12:13 pm (UTC)
"It was a special, special sort of afternoon. *lol*"

Oh, wow, that is special! (you poor thing!!). Glad it turned out well, though.

And no, I can't imagine wrestling down a 50lb Chow by myself. My dog is 25 lbs, and it took both me and my husband to get the peroxide down her throat.
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