What will today's blog entry be like? A mix of ranting, warning, recommendation, and self-deprecation. Interested? Yes? Then you must be stuck at work ;-)
So, over the weekend my husband decided to make oatmeal raisin cookies. They were the ones from Nestle, where you just break apart the dough squares and bake them. I was upstairs, trying to ignore the wafting scent of oatmeal-raisin goodness, because I am on a diet (we'll get to how that's going later). Anyway, the first batch of cookies came out of the oven, and I noticed my little dog sitting in the kitchen, eying them and licking her chops (much like I was doing, I'll admit). Then, with a flash of Doggie Mom inspiration, I asked my husband - you didn't give her a cookie, did you?
Him: Half of one, why?
Me: Because raisins are VERY BAD for dogs.
Him: No they're not.
Me: Yes they are, and I TOLD you that when you bought the cookies days ago.
Him: I don't remember you saying that.
Me: That's because you don't listen!
Him: Well, it was just half a cookie. Can't hurt her.
Me: I'm calling animal poison control. We'll see what they say.
Called poison control, who verified that yes, raisins are VERY BAD for dogs. Lethal, in some cases. I am instructed to induce vomiting with my dog. How? By giving her hydrogen peroxide. The first dose, my dog takes with cream and laps it up willingly (poor sweet trusting girl). We wait ten minutes. No puke. Call poison control back, they say to give her another dose. My dog no longer wants the cream-and-peroxide mixture. I try mixing it with ice cream. No dice. Then it's manhandling time, my husband holding her as she kicks and struggles while I try to get a tablespoon of peroxide down her throat. After that, we wait ten more minutes. Still no puke. I called poison control back. They said to give her another dose and run her around, so as to increase her stomach upset. More manhandling, struggling, and spitting ensues as I force another tablespoon down my dog's throat (no, I didn't have one of those handy ear syringes - - but I do now!). Then, I took her outside for a walk. In the rain. Neither one of us wanted to do it, trust me.
Where was my husband? He went to the store to get an ear syringe and a new bottle of peroxide (we weren't sure if the one we were using had enough "fizzle", which apparently, is what induces vomiting in dogs).
After ten sopping minutes of no vomiting, I brought my dog back inside. Here she had her revenge for the force-feeding of peroxide and the rain-romp, because she went over to our area rug and hurled all over it, managing to hit both the rug and a large swath on the carpet as well. I, per instructions by poison control, couldn't immediately begin to clean it, either, but instead had to pick through the vomit to count how many raisins were in it.
Can you imagine how much I was loving my husband at that moment????
I called poison control back to report that it looked like there were two and a half raisins in the puke. They didn't feel this would be enough of an amount to result in kidney failure, which is the concern with dogs who ingest raisins, so gave me instructions to keep my dog well hydrated and to follow up with the vet if she acts at all sick in the next day or so. Finally, I can begin to clean the carpet (no, hubby wasn't back from the store yet. Did this trip seem to take extremely long? I thought so, too!).
Only after I was done cleaning the puke did he walk back in the door (the man has radar, I swear). I relayed that our dog puked, then repeated the information from poison control - to which he replied, "Oh, well, then. No real harm done."
Yes, for those wondering, he IS still alive. Nobody can say I don't love that man, and I'm sure the dreams I had later that night about hiding a body in a suitcase had NOTHING to do with what I was feeling toward hubby over the dog ;-).
So, that was my rocking Saturday night. Sunday, we went to see Hell Boy 2, The Golden Army. Now, I loved the first Hell Boy. LOVED it (secret government unit made of up humans and supernatural freaks fighting evil supernatural freaks? Duh, of course I loved that!! :). Hell Boy 2 was not, in my opinion, quite as excellent as the first, but what it lacked in plotting, it made up for in dazzling visual effects. My review? Hell YEAH, if you liked the first one - even though I warn you, I've had Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You" on repeat in my head ever since seeing the movie. Am I joking? No, I'm not. You've been warned.
And onto to the diet portion of today's blog. About two weeks ago, as per my usual routine on the same month of a convention, I began dieting. When I want to crash diet, I turn to Atkins. This time, since my willpower was weaker, I thought I'd modify Atkins a little to make it less difficult. So, while I did cut out all my sugar, I included more carbs than the late Dr. Atkins recommended for his induction period of the diet.
The results? Epic. Fail. Not only have I failed to lose weight, I've gained two pounds. Fuck!!! I gave up Coldstone to gain weight?? *insert more profanity here*. Fine. Fine, Atkins. You win. I'll drop the carbs, too. Happy? I'm not. I'll be crying for the next two weeks while I slog through the all-protein induction phase of the diet, and even then, I'll still be heavier than I was at RT in April. I suspect I'll even have to *shudders* exercise. Why, why, why won't the Rubenesque look come back into style??
So. What did all of you do this weekend?