While banging my head against a wall over revisions contemplating the rewarding experience of rewriting several scenes in my novel, I found myself humming along to "I Will Survive" while mentally changing the lyrics to something a little more writer-friendly. So for all you writers stuck in Revision Hell, below is my ode to the revision process. It could also be called Buh-Bye Original Draft. Read along with the melody from “I Will Survive” in your head.

At first I was afraid

I was petrified.

Kept thinking I could never live

without that First Draft by my side.

But then I spent so many nights

thinking how its prose was wrong

and I grew strong.

I learned how to rewrite on.

And now its back

from Critique space.

Just got the mail to find it there

with big red marks on every page.

I would have changed that stupid plot

I would’ve never done that scene

if I’d have known how it would ruin

my entire novel’s theme. 

Go on, scene, go!

Get off the page.

I’m hitting Backspace

‘cause you’re not fucking up my wage.

Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with bad lines,

did you think I’d crumble?

Did you think I wouldn’t rewrite?

Oh no, not I.

I will revise.

As long as I can take advice

I’ll know I still should write.

I’ve got all my life to live,

I’ve got all my keyboard to give

and I’ll revise.

I will revise,

Hey, hey…

(chorus)

**Disclaimer: This is a parody for LJ amusement purposes only, and does not mean I will be attempting to enter the song-writing business via plagiarism any time soon.